I missed yoga. Deliberately. I missed my amazing, fabulous Monday night yoga class, the one with a teacher I really really like. I could have gone, I could have made it to the 5pm class, but I didn’t.
Instead, I chose to do grocery shopping in a packed store full of professionals tired and hungry after a long day at work, full of homeless people buying Meteo cookies (They’re the best. The cookies I mean, not the homeless. But I guess they are too if they make such good investment decisions.), and full of travellers looking desperately for their next meal on a rainy and cold night when nobody feels like eating out. It wasn’t the best time to do grocery shopping, for sure.
How come I didn’t plan more wisely? How come I didn’t do it over the week-end? Well, I wasn’t even buying food for myself. I was simply following along my mother, who came back to the city after a month of teleworking from my new parents’ home.
I could have met her later, after my yoga class, after her grocery shopping, at a moment where she would have had enough time to prepare dinner too, a time where I would’ve had simply to sit and eat with her. But I choose not to. On that night, I put family first.
I didn’t care much about what we would do. All I wanted was to be with her, all I cared about was to spend as much time as I could with her. Since my parents moved away, I’ve been missing them a lot. We were raised in a tight-knit family, where dinner time always meant family time, every night of the week, no matter what, where we would sat together every evening to watch television, not for the sake of it, but simply to be close to each other. We are a Care Bears family.
This new distance put between us is something we are not used to. Maybe I could call more often. I already call a lot my parents and my sister, but calling doesn’t always satisfy my need to feel close to my family. It feels just like when you are eating a fat free yogourt when you are craving Haagen Dazs. It’s just not the same.
Actually, I don’t really feel like talking to them that much, I miss their presence, I simply want to be close to them, for more than a few hours. I miss being in silence, at ease and at peace, with them.
When it comes to building meaningful relationships, I don’t believe in quality time. For this one thing, the more the better rule applies. You need that time to let your soul relax, to let your rhythm be set with the other’s personal rhythm, to bond in a more deeply way.
That’s why this week, I’ve put family first. And that’s why for the rest of my life, I will keep on prioritizing time with my family and loved ones no matter what, seizing every opportunity I get to see them. Because love is the only thing that can bring meaning to a messy Monday night grocery shopping.