It hit me like the Times Square Ball and its famous drop on New Year’s Eve. The last few months of 2017 have been so intense, full of amazing and also more difficult stuff to handle, that I have been going in one day at a time, only looking to the upcoming week at most. I knew there were more to come, I knew I had parties and outings until the end of the year, so I didn’t give much thought about 2018 until January 1st.
There I was, at my grandma’s place, when I finally realizing that I had survived. 2017, a One year in numerology, a Magician year, all about beginnings, potential and renewals, was now over. Finally, some time to breathe some would say. With my Master’s almost done, my new single status and a sacred home, I would now be able to relax and enjoy some well-deserved rest.
Could have been the case, but the planets seem to have another plan for me. I did not feel like resting at all. In fact, over the last couple of days, I’ve been feeling more alive than ever, and I just want to keep on rolling. I have this urge to create, to work, to serve my purpose, this feeling that something bigger is calling my name. Then this morning the aha moment: I am in my Saturn return.
After making a complete turn of all the zodiac signs since the time of my birth, Saturn has returned to its home, and its position on my birth chart, in Capricorn. After years of push and pull, of getting broken and repaired, of fighting obstacles and rising up to challenges, the door to the kingdom is now open. With a wiser mind and a stronger heart, I am ready to go in and see what’s on the other side.
2018 in tarot is the year of Divine Justice. I perceive Justice as the higher truth, its power lying in the possibility to distinguish what’s right from what’s wrong, not in a good or bad way, but much more in an aligned manner, using with the intelligence of the heart. It’s all about the recognition of what is our own truth, our soul speaking up, instead of our personality, or what some would call our ego, get in the way. With 2018 being also the year of the High Priestess, now more than ever is the time to let our intuition be the guide.
2018: a blank canvas. I am, from Saturn’s perspective, back to square one. What did my soul have learned from the past 28 years plus years? Where is the river taking me? That’s what I am about to discover.
In front of me, a field of possibilities. In a very concrete way, there seem to be openings all over the place. The more I go out, the more I meet new people, the more I realize the multiplicity of those. What if I was going on a trip in the Caribbeans and decided to stay? What if I was leaving my job to go on a long journey by myself? What if I was to marry this man, and move to the South Shore and become a stay-at-home mom, or this man, and move to another country and become a princess?
Every morning, we wake up, and all these possibilities lie in front of yes. Yet, unfortunately, most of us aren’t even aware that we have that amazing choice. We go on unconsciously, repeating the same old patterns day after day. What a waste.
And that is just the beginning of it. Those are all stil very real possibilities. Possibilities your conscious mind can still deal with. Some might be more probable, while others can appear to be pulled by the hair, yet we can all think about someone we know who completely changed their career path or became a princess out of the blue.
What if there was even more possibilities than the ones our mind can imagine? What if we were to realize that the reality we perceive and hold to be ours is really, truly, only that: an amalgam of perceptions? What if we were to realize that those perceptions, our thoughts, the old paths that have been created in our brains, are tricking us to see only a small part of the infinity of possibilities offered by the Universe? What if we were not victims of a concrete, harsh reality that makes us unhappy, but instead the artisans of this world we perceive? What if we have the power to change our thoughts to create the world we want to live in?
As Marianne Williamson beautifully puts it, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure”. Slowly, I am discovering all the magic and power we hold in our highly energetic beings, letting it sink in bit by bit, amazed by what we could do if this was all true. Slowly, I am unwinding all that I have learned through repeated hard work and mental effort, to learn this time with an open heart and joy as my guide. I am pushing aside the inner jerk, this constant self-talk that tells me it’s not possible, that things don’t work that way, to create and hold space for the inner wisdom.
A huge part of my subconscious still holds on for dear life to the old limiting beliefs. You can’t do magic, it says. You cannot be a witch, it keeps on repeating. This is not a career. Witches are imaginary characters for children. The rational voice might be right, but more and more, I cultivate the idea that there might me a possibility for it to be wrong. At 11, when no one came to take me to Poudlard (You Muggles have to read Harry Potter like now), my world collapsed. I was now forced to go through adolescence, paving the way to a boring, rational adulthood based on safe and pragmatic choices I had integrated as mine since my first day in this life time.
I did all that. Went to school, got a job, went again to school, got a permanent position. I did all that and my heart was full of sorrow and despair. I did all that and I felt my soul slowly dying.
I may sound completely crazy. What happened to the perfect A-business student? Where did the rational, strategic Communications Advisor go? The truth is, I don’t care. The more I integrate magic to my life, the more I stop looking for answers with my head and reach out to the Universe to tell my heart my truth, the better I feel. After more than a decade of general chronic anxiety, the constant fear is now gone. I can breathe. I can sit and meditate. I can feel joy, and celebrate being full instead of creating more and more emptiness inside my body to reflect the emptiness felt in my heart.
So here we go, 2018. Let’s manifest what we deeply desire, letting ourselves being guided by our intuition and inner wisdom. Let’s open up ourselves to this vast, infinite, field of possibilities. Let’s make you, 2018, the most wonderful, magical year. To all the witches out there, this is ours.