Yeah, I know. What a statement. When I first heard Brian Tracy repeat it over and over, “I love myself! I love myself! I love myself!” , I thought it was odd too. Yes, of course, you don’t hate yourself, but do you really need to be screaming at the top of your lungs every morning when you watch yourself in the mirror that you love yourself? I let it go, and I moved on with my life.
Until this morning last week when I woke up and felt great. No, not just great. F***ing amazing. And the warmth of my bed was not the only reason why I was so comfortable.
I had been noticing a shift lately in the way I was relating to my body, but that morning, it was so clear. It must have been that damn subliminal Brian Tracy’s voice. I was indeed loving myself.
For anyone out there, it’s an incredible feeling. For me, it was a miracle. After years and years of constantly battling with myself, my mind fighting over my body, after a long long long heroine’s journey, I had finally arrived home. Home as the physical space I had created within, home as my own sacred oasis, and home as the origin, the place of birth.
As within, so without. I was fully in my body, completely embodying the “soul having a human experience”, yet, more than ever fully connected to the Universal Soul.
What I had been chasing for so long had always been right there, right under my nose. Again, the Universe had proven to me to let go of the how. Focus on the why, and visualize the what, but please do not let the mind get in the way thinking about the how.
For more than a decade, I had been working really hard to get that perfect body. Restriction and exercise, control and discipline. All that hustle did brought me close to my goal, but never quite enough. There was still always something not quite perfect, something to improve.
Until I let go. I took a huge leap of faith. I stopped running, and started moving only whenever I felt like it. Workouts had to be fun, a game I played with myself. Yoga became a grounding practice, instead of a way to burn calories. I centered myself, and eventually I even stopped looking at myself in the mirror. Anyway, I didn’t care that much anymore, and the truth is a part of me still preferred to not know and live in an illusion.
As within, so without. The more I was living my life from the inside out, the more fun it became.
Funny thing is I started enjoying things I had always been taking for granted. How lucky I was to have two arms and two legs, how lucky to be able to jump and dance. How good it feels to eat when you are hungry, and rest when you are tired. How good it feels to breathe in and out.
Cheesy, I know. Still true. These days, I am on such a high. Every breath feels amazing. Every encounter is another opportunity to feel more and more love. I am so happy just to be alive.
There is no way not to love yourself when you feel that great. How could you not fall in love with that body through which you experience prana, that heart that keeps you moving towards expansion, that mind when it gets quiet enough to listen?
You have to live it to believe it. I wish I could be right there, next to you, to make you feel all that love.
As within, so without. See the things the way you want them to be. Do not ever trust your mind when it tells you you don’t deserve love. As Elizabeth Di Alto says so beautifully, you are made from love, you are love, and you are loved.
Don’t be shy, go ahead and tell the whole world: I love myself.