My word for 2018 is Manifesting. I wanted to do magical things. I thought it was all about shiny pennies and getting what I want. I never thought I would be working so deeply on myself, my preconceived beliefs and my self worth.
They say your thoughts create your reality. When you get into manifesting, you soon realize that it’s not so much about what you think, but much more about how you feel. It makes sense after all. Imagine what a crazy, chaotic world we would be living in if our thoughts were truly creating our reality. You don’t want that.
So we go on to the next layer, our feelings. Using tools such as visualization and meditation, we get into that space where we begin to feel as if we already had the thing we desire. It feels good. We can almost touch it. It’s right there. Basically, if we feel as if we already got the thing, it’s only a matter of time when it will show up. That’s the theory.
If this is true, then it shouldn’t be that difficult to manifest whatever you want in your life. Dream of that island, see yourself on the beach, and boom, you will get there eventually. Use positive affirmations, meditate on that, and you are on your way my friend.
If it was that easy, everybody would be living in Hawaii sipping delicious elixirs out of coconut cups. The more I study manifestation, the more I discover how it is deeply rooted into our subconscious beliefs about life and ourselves, and about how we assume things will unfold. You can think that you want a happy life, you can fool yourself into believing that what you really, truly desire is to find and marry the love of your life, get that amazing job, become a millionnaire, you can even consciously believe you are fully aligned with that and that it is your path. The reality check will come as soon as you start working on manifesting that. The Universe will rather sooner than later show you the resistance you have towards what you believe you want.
With that deep practice of magic, you eventually are faced with the truth: you are blocking whatever Universal force from giving you exactly what you desire. You then realize that you have to do the work to get out of your own way and let abundance flow into your life.
Easier said then done, I swear.
Brooke Castillo calls it cognitive dissonance. She explains that concept most of us know in a very interesting way that helps me move from one plan to the another. First, there is your actual situation, with your actual thoughts, beliefs, circumstances, actions and results. Then there is your desired situation, which also comes with its own thoughts, beliefs, circumstances, actions and results. Often, the two can be at opposite ends of a spectrum. One might be broke and wish to make a 100K this year, another might have been single for years and want to become a dad very very soon. Or maybe you are stuck in a job you hate and dream of leaving behind your boss and coworkers to be the head of your own billion-dollar worth company.
Between the two scenarios, an ocean to cross. You can visualize as much as you want that dreamy life of yours, sorry to tell you you will never get it. Your mind won’t allow it.
Why? Because breaking an old route, one that you have been digging for years in your brain, hurts. It creates lots of discomfort. This is what cognitive dissonance is all about : discomfort. And your brain won’t let you suffer.
So how do we do it? How do we lose those 50 pounds, get that home by the beach, find love?
We create a bridge. Between your actual situation, thoughts and beliefs, and that desired state. What would be the middle ground between the two? What scenario could lie in there? It doesn’t matter what it is, there can be even more than one: the only important thing is that it has to be a step small enough so that your mind can walk in that direction.
So maybe it is « I can write a paragraph per day » instead of « I am a New York Times bestseller author », or « I can make $200 more this month » instead of 100K this year. We just want to trick your mind into believing that it is possible.
Gotta be ready too: even that tiny tiny step might fire up your brain. No matter how small the step is, you will mostly encounter resistance, because you are leaving a well-known, comforting route behind to step into the wild unknown. Your brain will try anything to get you out of this dangerous zone. As soon as you bump into an obstacle, it will tell you something in the line of « I told you so », « It’s impossible, don’t even try », « Let’s go back home and eat some peanut butter ». If you truly, really, desire that new thing, you have to be able to move through the discomfort.
As you repeat over and over, you might also face more heavy stuff: the self-worth piece. It’s when we are trying to do better, take better care of ourselves, let our soul expand, that we can see how much we value ourselves. If we were so confident, if we were deeply in love with ourselves, we wouldn’t hesitate to get the best for us. There would be no doubt in our mind that we deserve everything the Universe can bring our way.
That is what I find is the most interesting work about all that manifestation. With time, the resistance will diminish. You will have created that new path. But mostly, you will have find a way to open up to a precious inner dialogue with yourself, one that highlights the shadow we often dismiss. You will discover how to get out of our own way to let abundance flow into your life, so you can truly become a magician, the co-creator of your journey. But mostly, you will have found real love, towards yourself all and above, and that is the only magic trick you’ll ever need.