In my mind, the world is separated in two: those who initiate and those who follow. The leaders at the head of big, small (or even solo) companies and the ones that work for them.
I’m not a follower. I hate having to respect rules I didn’t made myself. Therefore I aspire to be part of the first camp.
How many times, listening to Being Boss, have I wished to deserve that glorified title of creative entrepreneur. Join the select club of those who make a living out of their creativity. Who hustle and grind, but go to bed at night feeling like they gave their best shot at it. Those independant spirits, those lone wolves who brought to life out of thin air a viable business model.
Even the ones with a little bit less success I envy. At least they are out there, going their way, doing their thing. Living fully, with passion and grit.
What was always a dream of mine is becoming a reality. I’m building my business. A business of one, with my kitchen table as the main office, but still a business.
And as I finally officially enter the tribe of girl bosses, I wonder why I’m doing all of this.
Maybe it has to do with getting older, and hopefully a tad bit wiser. After years of dreading it, of fighting and resisting, of refusing to fit in any box, I surrender: it’s okay to have a job. A job that pays the bill. A job that is not your passion, your dharma, your vocation. A very plain, normal, one. That 9-to-5 that makes us cringe. In a beige and dull open space office. Yes, that job.
Because you know what? Who cares. I got it now. You are not what you do. Your purpose on this lifetime is much bigger than your work will ever be. Your dharma is much more complex than any job description.
Sure, it’s always easier to find something you like to do, something you’re good at, and to do it with people you appreciate, but it doesn’t have to be that wonderful career/dream vocation that Instagram makes you believe you should aspire to get. Stop wasting your time asking yourself all those “what if”s and daydreaming about if only you could be an influencer too. As Guru Jagat says, your relationship to work is your relationship to everything.
Here’s the thing. At the end of the day, no matter what you do, even if you own the most fabulous business ever, even if you’re the best life coach alive, you’re still gonna have some shitty tasks to do to make ends meet. Your days will eventually look somehow the same, even if you are travelling the world. There will always be admin and sitting behind a computer stuff. That’s just part of life.
In the end it all comes down to this idea of expecting to live in pure bliss 24/7. We might all be moon childs, however we are not angels yet.
Part of the human experience has to do with dealing with reality, the concrete stuff. In the Kundalini tradition, we refer to ourselves as householders. We do business, we love money, we eat carbs and we have sex.
Remember the first thing Bouddha said? Yes my friends. There is suffering. Life is about that, too. Somehow, someday, we’re going to have to let go of this fantasy of full-time happiness and embrace the harsh truth that a 50/50 ratio of good and bad stuff is more realistic. Half of the time we’re gonna have a blast, and the other half, well…let’s say we’re going to find a way to get through it.
That proportion also translates itself into your work life. Nowadays, I’m juggling with the idea that I might have to consider myself blessed if I’m happy with it half of the time, and not too miserable the rest of it.
I hate having to be a Cassandra. You can do whatever you want with your life, my love. Do chase after your dream, invest your time in a side hustle you’re passionate about, and eventually leave that awful corporate job behind to fulfill your purpose.
I simply believe, not unlike Jonathan Fields, we often dismiss simple grace too easily, in that anguish state which makes us aspire to have more, do more, be more, without thinking twice that before getting to a stage of sustainable complexity within our new endeavour, we will have to face adversity. We may never get to homeostasis in our new project. Most of us will surrender before ever getting to simple grace again. And what’s the point really, since that simple grace will probably taste very much like the simple grace we had in the first place. Remember our friend the Mexican fisherman?
To all my go-getters out there, who fuel their journey with their big ideas as much as their angst, let’s take this as a warning. If we choose to push even further, to go on a new adventure, to try entrepreneurship or make an attempt at that side hustle, we have to remember our why. We have to keep in mind that we do it not out of despair, in the hope of leaving behind the corporate world, but simply because we can’t do otherwise, can’t resist the call of creativity. It’s our jam, the one we like to add to our PB-jelly-shit sandwich we can’t get enough of. We do it just for the sake of it, because we can, because why not? We do it fully aware that it is not the answer to all our queries about life and our mission on earth, that it’s not the thing that will finally define us and bring more meaning to our life.
Now that’s out of the way, we get to really play. Paradoxically, that’s when work doesn’t feel like work anymore, exempt from the pressure to make it something it’s not, that it becomes so much more. Roll up your sleeves, my friend. Let the fun begin.