He broke up with me by the pond. By a sunny and beautiful fall afternoon, he told me he wouldn’t come back home. Suddenly, my whole world fell apart. My foundations were gone. It was as breathtaking as when we had fallen in love at first sight, expect it wasn’t as uplifting as it was back then. I had been able to predict I would fall in love one day, I never thought our story would eventually end. I was convinced I was the princess and he was the prince, and we would live happily ever after.
I knew something was up, and we had agreed to meet there to talk about it. A part of me was expecting the worst, but my optimistic nature still believed that we could make it work. To prepare for probably one of the most important encounters of my life, I had arrived a bit earlier, and meditated while waiting. I wanted to be as open and as peaceful as possible for that moment. I asked the Universe to have my back on that one. At the beginning of the lunar cycle, even before knowing anything about that, I had chosen to let go and trust. Trust was my intention, and I had faith that it was the best one for what was about to happen.
That day, I also had been listening to Brené Brown. A lot. I kept reminding myself that the only way to go was to show up and dare greatly. So I dared greatly. Over and over again. Listening to Brené talking to Oprah on the SuperSoul Sunday podcast, I had learned that often what keeps people stuck in shame was feeling that you are alone, and that you are not worth of love and belonging. To add to that feeling of loneliness, what usually happens when you are going through some pain and suffering, people hesitate to reach out, not knowing what to tell you about it. So you keep feeling alone and ashamed, and they keep feeling like they should be doing something but they never gather the courage to do so.
Back to that critical afternoon. I was in a great place, calm and aligned, when I got hit by the power of the announcement. I just couldn’t process the information properly. I didn’t want to anymore. I was holding on to him like a crazy lady. Then eventually I had to let him go, and as my love, and all hopes of starting a family with him, walked away, I became an impressive mess. I don’t mind crying in public, but I have to say that it wasn’t my most glorious day. Caught in that intense and emotional bubble, I had made complete abstraction of everything else around me. As I found myself alone again, I realized that I was still crying, that I had made a total scene and that I couldn’t even hide because I was not able to stand up on my feet. I was in shock, and shameful.
Still trying to figure out what to do next, I sat there in silent for a moment, crying. In less than a minute, my guardian angel appeared in the form of a cute blonde mom. She sat next to me and asked me how I was. Her, her boyfriend and their kiddo had been watching the whole scene, and she wanted to make sure I was okay. She gave me a candy, and without any hesitation, she told me everything I needed to know about breaking up. She told me how it would be, what would happen, how I would feel, and what I should do. She told me the good and the bad, and reassured me that everything would be all right. She was simply the best, most and for all because she dared to show up in that moment where I felt the most alone.
I was so right : the Universe has my back. I’m soaking in such a beautiful light. I’m surrounded by loving and supportive people, close friends and strangers. I don’t know how things are going to unfold, but what I do know is that I deeply need to trust. Because as soon as I do, the Universe sends me amazing stuff.
Thank you stranger. You made my day. You changed everything. Hopefully one day, when I too will be sitting at a park with my hubby and kiddo, watching this girl who’s world’s falling apart, I will to have the courage to dare to show up. Because it’s the only way to go.