School is (almost) over. Kids are hectic, over-the-moon excited by the long luminous evenings, and high on sugar from all the Fudgsicles they’ve been eating.
I’m hectic too. But not in a good way. As summer settles in, my anxiety rises. When things slow down, what am I gonna do to keep moving forward?
See, I’ve already reached all my goals for this year. And I don’t function well without a direction.
With the upcoming solstice, it’s perfect timing. In the Aquarian age, quarters are guided by the stars. From solstice to equinox, from equinox to solstice, and so on.
It’s time to create a new mold for the life I want, the new vision to project from my third eye.
Except there’s a lot to process, and I’m kind of tired. I need a pause, a summer break.
Not a break as in sitting on the beach drinking Aperol Spritz doing nothing. Lingering vacation meant to recover from an overload of uncreative work are killing the soul.
This time I just need a break to figure things out. A kind of mental break, to rest and digest all that I’ve manifested over the last few months. Integrate what I’ve done and celebrate the small victories. Allow my heart and soul to catch up with my head and body so we can all be on the same page.
What I want is a break from the constant chase.
Over the last few months, I’ve created a new home for my spirit, a body I’m discovering every day.
New habits, new patterns, new thought forms. A whole new way of identifying with and defining myself, of positioning myself in the world, of interacting.
Needless to say, it’s a lot to process.
Now what? Who am I without the disorder? What are my new aspirations, dreams and goals? What are my ambitions? How do I define success? What will I do with all this energy? How can I be of service and contribute more? What will bring me more joy?
I want a pause to dream. Dream big and bright. Connect with my soul again and listen to what she needs. Hear the divine invitation I’m called to answer.
Defining the question is the toughest part. Once it’s done, all I had to do was to open your heart to the answer.
First, I heard that what I’m deeply craving for won’t happen through a new job. I used to put all my eggs in the same basket: looking for one unique relationship to satisfy all my emotional needs, one job to bring me money and a way to express my creativity.
I don’t know if it’s Hast Kriya or me getting older, but I’ve realized that work, or more precisely what brings me money on a consistent basis, is only a teeny-tiny part of my life.
Now that I’m healthy and have more energy, I can invest the rest of my time in projects that will bring me true fulfillment instead of wasting time kicking the Coke machine for a Coke it won’t bring me.
What will it be? Is it gonna be a tarot course? A Kundalini teacher training? A book? Who knows.
The world is mine, I’m blessed with freedom.
What I do know though is there is 5 key elements to my equation of success: fun, creativity, team work, learning and community.
Those findings, they came in one night. Things go fucking fast once you know a little bit better how to play the game.
The answer is in the prayer.
Now all I got to do is to follow the pings, as if life was not already a life-sized treasure hunt.
Honor the slowing down of things, instead of rushing with anxiety at the thought of having nothing to do. Allowing intuition to show me the way towards my next big or small adventures.
Boredom is a sacred space that offers you to reconnect with the kiddo inside, the bambino who too was irritated during the never-ending summer days without the structure provided by school. It’s a magnificent opportunity to use your imagination to define what will become your reality.
But in order for it to happen, you have to give yourself permission to sit quietly under the green leaves. Letting the sun rays shine through, this moist, heavy weather weight you down for a while. Enjoying the dreamy state right before you fall asleep for a luxurious nap in the middle of the afternoon.
As Gabby Bernstein says so beautifully, “in the absence of the resistance to surrender, we find our way back”.
One day at a time, one ice cream cone a night, I’ll let summer sweetly unfold.
Trusting the Universe to provide. Receiving from this numinous and powerful source of infinite light. Letting success come to me instead of me chasing it.
See you all in September.