I feel on top of a mountain. I see a view I never thought I’d see. A whole new world in front of me. A world of possibilities and full-blown freedom.
They tell us about the anxiety curve a lot in our summer camp. How you got to hold the pressure and tolerate the discomfort at the top of the curve and learn to move past it and feel the anxiety go down on the other side of the bump. If you take a golden parachute (here please insert your means of escaping of reality of predilection, may it be alcohol, shopping, working or exercising compulsively) to avoid the discomfort, you never get past the top, and unlike the real mountains out there, the summit keeps getting higher and higher.
My Everest was a BMI of 20.
I never thought I’d reach it. I hiked a lot, trained for it, got to base camp 2, but never actually got there.
Until two months ago. Then I finally saw the view, and let me tell you, what a view.
Except it didn’t stop there. More was waiting for me . Because I’m not going down anytime soon. You know when you hike and you think you got on top only to find out once you’ve arrived that there’s another summit further away? That’s what’s happening to me right now. Except unlike on a hike, there’s no sign in the side of the trail to tell me how many more miles before I get to my destination. The destination is the journey indeed. The map is never the territory.
The only choice I have at this point is to surrender and keep walking, trusting I will get there, wherever there is, sooner or later. Hoping to not meet any too scary black bear along the way.
Of course, I could go back. But the landscape just keeps getting better. The colors are brighter, the nature is flourishing. And I’m getting closer to the sun.
There’s no way I’m going back.
For sure, as I add on the steps, I have to let go of some undesirable weight slowing me down. Heavy habits, unnecessary behaviors, useless thoughts. Those I can’t carry with me anymore.
Funny enough, even if the scale shows the opposite, I’m travelling lighter and lighter.
With a light heart and an uplifted spirit, where are you heading? Once you get off track, where does that take you?
To uncharted territories, I guess. Fun, wild, uncharted territories.