Life

Winds of change

January 21, 2017
Winds of change

Contrary to what one may think, winds of change have nothing to do with the winds on stormy days. In fact, there are quite the opposite. Think about the soft breeze of a warm summer. So subtle at first you would think there is none, until you realize that it is what makes this hot day more comfortable. This soft breeze that doesn’t even make the leaves fluttering. Those are the winds of change.

Change is often motivated by discomfort. It makes sense after all. We are unhappy in our relationship, dissatisfied with our work, discouraged by ourselves. The statu quo is not an option anymore. We need to get moving, if possible as fast as we can, because really, it smells bad around here.

So we start to think about it. We plan carefully. We read a lot, even dare to talk about it. It’s on our mind almost constantly. We are going to do it. We are going to get out of this unhealthy relationship and find someone we deserve. We are going to quit that boring job and follow our passion. We are going to stop eating chips at night and start working out to become our best selves.

This is big. It is going to be life changing. Until it is not anymore.

I’ve done it a million time. I’ve persuaded myself over and over again that I was going to change, and that in order to do so, I had to go all in. I was convinced that it would hurt, but I was ready to suffer to get through that dark time and find the light.

I was right. It hurt. It hurt so much I had to back off every time. It was like a thermal shock. Every inch of my poor body, every part of my mind and every piece of my soul refused to do what I had planned. The so well prepared change did not sustain. I had to go through lots of one step forward two steps back before realizing that change has to be so subtle that it feels like nothing is moving, like it will never happen. It takes that tiny tiny step, so tiny you know you can’t even take a step back, to move into the right direction. When you want something big, aim for small. So small you are sure you can’t quit.

When I started practicing handstand, I was jumping at the wall, landing there with a big bang and a beautiful banana shape. I never thought I could do it in the middle of the room. Then I saw some people were doing it, and I was pretty impressed. Never actually believed though I could do it, but I persevered. I practice everyday, still don’t believe I will make it happen one day, but things like being able to hold for three to four seconds of the wall never seemed possible at the beginning.

I never thought I would learn to relax and chill around without freaking out about sitting doing nothing. I was so anxious I never thought I could meditate and find inner peace. To do so, I had to learn to calm down, slow my breath through my vinyasa practice, than through standing postures, than sitting, than through restorative poses, until I could finally learn to appreciate these moments being still, until one day looking forward to them, so much that a restorative yoga class would become my favorite.

I could have forced myself to sit for fifteen minutes day after day. Just the thought of it makes me go wild. How would I have ever been able to find peace when I was suffering so much? For sure I would have quit before even getting a little bit closer to feeling any comfort.

I never thought I could become the person I aspired to be. Then one day, on my way home, I felt the sun on my face, and the cold, subtle wind on my cheeks. I was happy. I was feeling great. I had achieved things I never thought possible.

Let the winds of change do the work. Change is already hard in itself. You take something at rest and try to get it into motion. This is the Newton’s law of inertia.

“An object at rest stays at rest and an object in motion stays in motion with the same speed and in the same direction unless acted upon by an unbalanced force.” – Newton

Reduce any resistance, as much as you can. Do that one tiny step to get you closer, so that your body, your mind and your soul don’t even feel like they are really moving. Because if you can get that first movement, wow. Once you are in motion, it never stops. And that is when you get to finally find that light, when true change happens, initiated by that powerful motion coming from within.

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